"We really wish to be fearless enough to help others. We are aware that, we ourselves, have a lot of fear, but we aspire to have our hearts wake up completely."
pema chodron
Everybody want to be of help. Many are are ready to help others in spite of ourselves. Why is it that it is easier to help others than it is to help ourselves? Is it our social conditioning that makes us think we are being selfish? I think there is something deeper.
It is true that we often confuse selfish with self-full. The former is a word we are all familiar with and probably evokes images right away. The latter term however is not commonly used. Regardless of this fact it is important for us to understand the difference. When I became a parent the hardest thing for me, the independent, driven, career minded woman, to grasp, was that motherhood was all about surrender. Yup! No deciding or controlling anything be it when I eat or sleep or escape for 30 minutes to the grocery store. It was a challenge for me to accept and be ok with that. We realise that it can be easy to be selfish. The thing we may not realise is that we also need to take the time to nurture ourselves. This is not only for women and not only for parents. All of us can appreciate that if we are empty on the inside, how can we fill another's emptiness? Choosing ourselves and our happiness are the things that make us full enough to overflow into others. It also makes us able to receive and be grateful.
When we shift into this new way of thinking we become more powerful in our own lives. I think that is the fearlessness that awakens our hearts. If you are the kind of person who is more likely to do for others than do for yourself, for the next 24 hours, before offering to do for others, stop to ask yourself when was the last time I did this for me?
Ciao!
Bianca
P.S. I spent the day with a succession of geniuses at the Apple store today. They all worked hard to help me with my problems. But no iPhoto so I have no picture for you today :(
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pema chodron
Everybody want to be of help. Many are are ready to help others in spite of ourselves. Why is it that it is easier to help others than it is to help ourselves? Is it our social conditioning that makes us think we are being selfish? I think there is something deeper.
It is true that we often confuse selfish with self-full. The former is a word we are all familiar with and probably evokes images right away. The latter term however is not commonly used. Regardless of this fact it is important for us to understand the difference. When I became a parent the hardest thing for me, the independent, driven, career minded woman, to grasp, was that motherhood was all about surrender. Yup! No deciding or controlling anything be it when I eat or sleep or escape for 30 minutes to the grocery store. It was a challenge for me to accept and be ok with that. We realise that it can be easy to be selfish. The thing we may not realise is that we also need to take the time to nurture ourselves. This is not only for women and not only for parents. All of us can appreciate that if we are empty on the inside, how can we fill another's emptiness? Choosing ourselves and our happiness are the things that make us full enough to overflow into others. It also makes us able to receive and be grateful.
When we shift into this new way of thinking we become more powerful in our own lives. I think that is the fearlessness that awakens our hearts. If you are the kind of person who is more likely to do for others than do for yourself, for the next 24 hours, before offering to do for others, stop to ask yourself when was the last time I did this for me?
Ciao!
Bianca
P.S. I spent the day with a succession of geniuses at the Apple store today. They all worked hard to help me with my problems. But no iPhoto so I have no picture for you today :(
Join our group on Facebook to recieve our blog in your inbox!