Blog

#8 - Concentrate on being positive at all times.  

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” - Stephen Covey 

And thoughts of course! But some times they creep in without an invitation. What do we do then? 

I have not achieved the ability to be positive at all times; however, I have learned to recognize those thoughts and stop them before it becomes critical. Being mindful of our thoughts, like a good little Jedi, is a lesson on a path to happiness. Just like seeing the silver lining on a cloud, there is a lot of good to focus on all the time; but there’s more. Tonight, Marc and I, did a pro-bono gig for an organization that helps children in poor urban areas. The MC who was a member of the board was telling us that he feels he gets so much more, as a human being, from his involvement than he does from his prosperous career. He spends countless hours and lunch times working to do good. Concentrating on the positive can mean choosing to make a positive impact, even in a small way, on the world we live in. We met dozens of people tonight who were investing in a good cause and were happy to be doing good. Good deeds bring us closer to our humanity. 

If you find that positive thoughts and feelings escape you, maybe it is time to reconnect with yourself by being generous with others. Offer up some time or a service to someone or some place without expectation of anything in return. The payoff and recognition will come when you realize how good you feel. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#7 - Treat everyone nicely, even those who are rude to you.  

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”Dalai Lama XIV 

It is easy to be nice to someone who is nice. And we know we should be nice to everyone. But not everyone is nice and then that just makes a mess of everything we can be feeling and what comes next. 

This is a lesson I heard a long time ago. I almost wrote “learned” but that would not be entirely true because sometimes I find it hard to be kind to people who are not. I know I should. I know I must try. I know I should not judge but my emotions or my ego or will have a mind of their own. Although I could not always control my reactions, I learned a valuable skill that helps me travel the road to being a better person. When I am in a reaction, I notice and I stop. I put my reaction on pause. Then I start a process that has helped me a lot. I start down the emotional road to discover what is there. Where does the reaction come from? What is behind it? Why did I react that way? It feels like I have climbed out of my self, to observe and analyze myself. I have found that this process ,of learning to be more self aware, has taught me to be more patient and tolerant with those around me. Obviously, I am not the only one to have a story behind my reactions. Everyone can use a little kindness. I can succeed at being kind even to people who are rude. Sometimes I have had to deal with people who are ruthless. With them, it takes a different perspective and requires digging deeper. I am still working on that. If you weren’t able to succeed this time, try a little tenderness next time.  

Kindness is a quality I admire in a person; in any person. I know it lives in me and, like love, sharing it makes me richer and my world a better place. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#6 - Dedicate an hour a day to something you’re passionate about.  

“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.”  ― Émile Zola 

An hour does seem like a big block of time for someone like me. How about you? But somehow, finding time to write to you right now is taking time for one of my many passions. 

I can assure you that I will not die of boredom. I have many passions: painting, writing (songs and such) cooking, singing and on and on. The one thing I find I am missing is time. Time is my most valuable commodity. So the idea of trying to find a whole hour to devote to a passion every day seemed like a titanic task. But I found time by thinking outside the box in what I can do when and how. Example: I do my vocal practice in the car on my way to work. I have 45-60 minutes in the morning of uninterrupted time. I get connected with my internal instrument and I wake up my voice in preparation for the day ahead. At one point I realized that writing my blog was therapeutic for me. The mere act of writing it brings me back to who I am; reconnects me after my day. I don’t know if anyone reads them and it’s ok. It helps me. If it helps even one person, it is a gift. So I take the time to write, sometimes in card or a journal instead of a blog, on a regular basis. Painting takes me somewhere else entirely. It is a study too, but I think every artistic expression requires an element of surrender in order for it to be accomplished. Once someone asked me where I got my ideas for song lyrics. The lyrics are already in the music and sometimes you just have to be still to hear the song altogether. I’m like a radio receiving that transmission. The stillness inside is there when I go to my creative space.  

When there is a will there is a way to find the time for your passions. Once you find a way to let go of something and let your passion live, you will open the door to order and be closer to finding your way in this life. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#5 - Teach someone something new every day.  

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.”Alfred Adler 

Things I learned through my years of teaching voice are, that first you have to want to share what you yourself have learned and second, you have to take a moment to understand what is being requested of you as a teacher. 

As a general rule I have never looked for students or advertised for students or really did any serious prospecting for students. So when I got a call from someone asking if I was taking any students, I always felt that since they had found their way to me, there must be a reason and a purpose to us sharing part of our journey together. In the beginning, my students were musicians friends who had always focussed on their external instrument and now wanted to improve their vocal prowess. No matter who or how these people of varied walks of life made their way to me, the synergy and the timing was always very pertinent for both of us. In order for me to help them evolve towards techniques that would allow them to expand, I had to listen to the sounds they were making, simulate them, feel what they were doing physically and then make tweaks and corrections. I had to listen to the technical but I also had to listen to the emotional, the cerebral tune in to the behavioural. All of those things had an impact on their delivery. My job was to teach them to be better singers but in order to do that, I had to learn about them and learn what made me a better singer. I had to teach myself to be a teacher in order to effectively teach others and I had to care enough about them to be all in. If you are unable to listen to others, to have empathy and truly be on the receiving end of what they are putting out there, save your breath. The most important lesson I learned is this: there is nothing you can say that can be of any consequence if you are unable to listen first.  

So teach yourself something new everyday by actively listening to those around you. There is no telling what you will discover. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#4 - Learn and practice one new skill every day.  

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle 

If I may be so bold as to begin by adding to what Aristotle has expressed above, I would say, excellence is a choice. 

I just finished reading an wonderful article in Scientific American Mind (once again putting my inner nerd out there) that was speaking about negative emotions. The article describes a problem that has been created in society because of an unbalanced emphasis on Positive Thinking. Now, I for one have read many articles over the years about how a smear of Positive Thinking over a mountain of suppressed Negative Thinking doesn’t provide any positive results. I have come to believe that our thoughts are our thoughts and our feelings are our feelings and Life is full of experiences. So in the end the life we live is built from the choices we make; how we choose to react or not in the face of those big and little challenges that show up every day. I have not written a blog in 6 months which is a big change for someone who used to write to you every day. I let some of the challenges I was facing in the last year and even last two years affect how I chose to live my life. One morning I read this: “Leadership is not a position or a title. It is an action and example.” I chose to turn a corner on my downwards slope and take pleasure in climbing my mountain. So to paraphrase Aristotle, Excellence is not an act but an action. An action that comes from your free will. 

So, our lesson for the day is about integrating a new practice each day. Time to go do that. Thank you to Nathan Tanouye and Dawn Cumberbatch who both inspired me this week. With their words, they reminded me that who I am is still in me and that finding time to work on my own creative projects is about living who I am. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#3 - Perform one selfless act every day 

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know when it will be too late.”Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Oh yeah! I’m all over this one. I mean, I’m a mom, my whole life is selfless. Right?  

Well, before I could really answer this one for myself, I had to think about selfless. Truly, what person can’t speak to the myriad of things we do for our kids, or our spouse, or a friend, a co-worker, etc. But does that mean selfless. Am I supposed to get out of myself? I had to think about it and roll it around in my head until I got it. I know my act is selfless when I barely realise I am doing it. When my intention is on the others, the ones I am doing it for, then my self is effaced and only the good deed remains. In other words, if you are being nice and it is important that everyone notices how nice you are, it is not selfless. If you can boil anything down to it being about you, you have missed the point. Don’t get me wrong a good deed is still a good deed. The real benefit and acquired consciousness comes when we let go of our expectations and are fully connected with our giving nature.  The how or how much isn’t important when the intention is honourable. The gift you get is not recognition but something far more valuable. 

So take this challenge and surrender to your kindness. Put you ego in your back pocket. Do an anonymous good deed. Feel what it feels like on the inside. You’ll understand why this is a big one. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#2 - Try one new thing every day  

“Start wherever you are and start small.” -Rita Baily 

For the past two days I have been on a course. I wanted to get some tools to deal with people that are difficult. What I got were tools to be better at living with the human race on a daily basis. 

Our teacher was an expert. Very competent and very good at getting her information out and into our heads. With humour, real life examples and relating to what her audience was saying, she was inspiring. What was very interesting, was discovering that ultimately we were not going to get tools to change our difficult people. Nope. We did get tools to change how we deal with people, all kinds of people. There are a variety of human recipes out there. Knowing what communication style will be the most effective with them is an art. Lucky for us, if we are willing, it is an art we can learn. And I might add, with the right teacher and facilitator, we can be on our way to trying something new. 

I think it is good to get out of the office once in a while. The change of pace is refreshing and a new perspective can feel like a whole new you. Tomorrow, I am going to start to change my communication, one small step at a time. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

#1 - Use words that encourage happiness  

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” – Albert Einstein 

I noticed lately that I’ve been getting a bit negative. I know, I know. How could that happen? After all, to me? But it seems to be sneaky and easier than we think. 

The first item on my list of 30 blogs can change the world all by itself. Taking the time to choose our words carefully is always an investment with a sure return. Even when what we say is difficult, how we say it changes the outcome. Respect comes to mind here and so does kindness. I should say that I make no distinction between my business communication and my personal in the sense that I try to be kind, I am honest and transparent. 

I picked this quote because of what is implied here. Listen. Listen. And listen some more. Understand who you are speaking to and you will hear the words of kindness that will encourage and bring happiness to them. The peace you will find will be sown deep inside. 

May the force of peace be with you and bring happiness to all you encounter. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! 

Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original vintage music, they are distinctive in their contemporary style.

Expectations, hopes and fulfilment 

“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.”  ― Henry David Thoreau 

I ended my last blog with “Your blissful inspiration is out there. Send it an invitation then allow it in.”  What I did not realize was that I was already on a journey. On that journey, I was showed a gilded door.  While it was it was partly open, I got a glimpse of what was inside. Wow! I thought. I want to go there! But before I knew it, someone came along and closed it. Yup! Closed it shut and said “Although you would be amazing in there, it’s not going to happen.” So what’s up with that? 

It has been part of my journey, of course, to ponder this. So what happens to us when we are disappointed? What does it mean? My trusty go-to, the dictionary, says about the word disappoint (verb): to fail to meet the expectations or hopes of; let down; to prevent the fulfilment of (a plan); frustrate. Well I can say, I was plenty frustrated. The higher consciousness me was trying to understand the why and the learning opportunity, but my ego was just very very frustrated and upset. The next day, I learned that my cousin, a cousin I loved a lot and was really close to, died. She was sick. She knew she was dying. She left us. I was ready to be quiet.  

In my life, I have had many disappointments. Like you. What makes us go on? Where is your hope nestled?For me, it is getting back to what I believe in; in the truth that there is a purpose and a reason to everything. I write today because writing helps me clear my mind; makes me feel better. It is a way back to myself. I was running in a rat race and was getting away from who I am. Compensation did come in the quiet of my true self.  

Now, I’m attempting to leave my expectations behind. I have thought about what is important in my life and will make it a daily practice to enjoy what makes my life worth living. Feel free to join me for the next 30 blogs. I will try to evolve on a theme while a cook, paint, write a song maybe... All challenges are just food for thought and creativity to an artist like me. Let's go!

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

Could this be the meaning of life?   Podcast

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” - Pablo Picasso 

I went to bed last night, my soul wrapped up in a peaceful blanket of pure bliss. We were out at the Ottawa Winter Jazz Festival and were privy to a trifecta of musical enchantement, each group building on the previous wonderful performance, until we reached the evening’s final heavenly ascension. (audio) 

The festival organizers had masterfully crafted the evening to be a mind, body and soul experience.  The Chocolate Hot Pockets started us off with an intense driving musical set. The band was young, ambitious, their minds and fingers racing. A very tight group and certainly one to keep your eye out for. Nice writing, great playing. These boys are dynamic and full of life. I was living those moments vividly. Next was the Mike Murley trio setting up a beautiful contrast. I had not heard Mike Murley in a while and never in this format although it has been going on for many years. There was a transparent humanity woven in to the musicality here. A exquisite repertoire offered with mastery and feeling. Non-standard standards provided the template for a very touching experience. When that set was over, I was filled; filled with warmth and a happiness that music played very well can bring.  I could have died with the contentment that I had experienced a very beautiful moment in my life.  

During the break I thought, “This has been really good” secretly wondering if the next performance, even if I knew would be masterfully executed, could continue to escalate the musical experience I was in. The Fraser Hollins quartet features living musical greats. With Fraser Hollins was Joel Miller, Jon Cowherd and Brian Blade. Playing original compositions by Fraser Hollins and Joel Miller (I just want to say WOW here) there was an interiority, a centering quality, from which the musicians allowed the music to take on an exponential dimension before releasing it through their instruments. Greater than us, this wave carried us out to sea with a gentle but unmistakable force. We were immersed in an authentic human experience. It built upon everything that came before it, to deliver a sublime moment, steeped in humility; humility that can only come from transcendance . It was a spiritual experience. In those moments, I was one with myself and with all. 

Music, and art, can have such a powerful effect on us human beings. As an artist and a giver of music, when I am on the receiving end, my heart is as wide open as when I am the one on the stage. When the magic starts to happen, I just open my flood gates and let the flow of happiness in. The moments that were before me may have come to an end, but at home, we have a boy who got his photo with Brian Blade and a pair of sticks that are better than bars of gold. I have my memories of seeing such joyful musicians give us all of who they are, each one of them. Then upon waking this morning, wanting to write, to paint and sing the joy that is still resonating therein, I am inspired. Alleluia!  

Your blissful inspiration is out there. Send it an invitation then allow it in. 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! 

Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original vintage music, they are distinctive in their contemporary style.

/
  1. Alleluia

Good night my dear, good night my dear, I'll see you in my dreams. 

“Nobody has a perfect life. What you see on the screen is the best of the artist.” - René Angelil 

As I have listened to Marc speak about his 20 years working with Celine and René, I can say, the best of the artist begins in the eye of the beholder. René saw good things in the artists he surrounded himself with. 

This morning Marc woke up and said, “I don’t know, I feel a kind of sadness…” We went on with our morning routine, getting ready, each going on our way. There was something. We sent each other some warm messages in the day; something we are usually too busy to do. Then on the way home in traffic, Marc texts me. He may be delayed, he’s been busy doing interviews regarding René’s death. It’s the day… Within minutes a reporter calls me on my cell wanting to know how to get in touch with Marc. The evening has been a whirlwind of calls and interviews, radio, tv and print media.  

I always wanted to meet René but never did. I would see him on occasion from afar. I knew him through Marc’s stories and account of his spirit and his generous nature. Once as Marc’s sisters were in Vegas waiting to meet Celine, René came through the green room and said hello, then said to them in his unique raspy voice, “Marc is Perfect.”  

So now in the quiet of our home, we reflect, we mourn and we celebrate a man who has been such a big part of Marc’s life. Maybe what we see on screen is the best of the artist’s advocate too. Three cheers for a life well lived. Enjoy your next adventure lil' angel! 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! 

Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original vintage music, they are distinctive in their contemporary style.

The best things in life aren't things... 

“Learn to die and you learn how to live.”  

            - Morrie Schwartz via Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie 

This book carried me through the days before and after Christmas. I found little moments each day to read a few chapters and stayed up reading after Marc had fallen asleep. It is filled with so many lessons about life. I just loved it.  

My daughter came home from school with this book, Tuesdays with Morrie, sometime in November. I recognized the title but I had never read it. As usual she fired through it, but this time, when she was done, she suggested I read it. I was happy to oblige her. What I didn’t realize was that the very act of reading this book forced me out of my usual over achiever routine to get on top of what is next on the holiday agenda: the next meal, desert, ready the stuffing, calculate this, run out for that. Marc often queries, “Don’t you ever stop?” I don’t. I get up at 5:30. I get ready, have a bite, a bit of coffee, get a lunch together and I’m out the door between 6:30 and 6:45 AM to get in to work by 7:30. I like to start early because I get ahead of the traffic and get a jump start on most people who get in later. Even if I have a lunch I don’t stop for lunch most days at work. I just eat at my desk and try to get ahead of the stack of work that awaits us every day. When I leave the office (rarely on time) I tackle my 60 - 90 minute drive to get home to start on supper for the family. On the way home I call to find out what is on the homework agenda, I need to get an idea of what is waiting for me. Sometimes I stop at the grocery store; that is if it wasn’t already done over my lunch “break”. Along with being the family cook, tutor, dishwasher,taxi driver, there is laundry and just a constant onslaught of to-do’s that comes with each and every passing day. Morrie’s story drew me away from this pace. This rat-race pace of existence. I always used to say, “Life is for living” but I have not been my own poster girl as of late. Was I letting something inside of me die?

I finished the book this morning. I was touched by all the wisdom it contained. I was touched by the story of this beautiful friendship. Even more so, I was touched by the truth that reading it was a gift: a gift I bestowed upon myself. It brought me back to my humanity. Thanks Mitch for sharing your final thesis with a great life Coach! 

Namaste! 

Bianca 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! 

Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original vintage music, they are distinctive in their contemporary style.

It's a holiday tree. What difference what holiday? 

“The stiff and unbending is the disciple of death.

The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life.

Thus an army without flexibility never wins a battle.

A tree that is unbending is easily broken.” - Lao Tzu (c.604 - 531 B.C.)


It’s February 15th and our holiday tree is still up… but it’s coming down today!

 

It came down actually. Every nutcracker and ornament has been carefully packed up for another 10 months. We are just waiting for a day when it isn’t -35 to put it all away in the garage. Good thing it is so sunny. We can stay where it is warm and cheerful. My son remarked that it seemed so much roomier without the tree. I think I am ready for the spring expansion because I was happy to see some regular homey things around. I think we went to the very end of the christmas decoration experience. 

 

So here are some pictures of our “Valentine’s tree”:) There were a bunch of hearts scattered about. Perfect!

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

 

No Mockingbirds were injured in the writing of this blog! 

“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

 

It is nearing the end of January and my Christmas tree still reigns over the main level of the house. What to do? What to do?

 

It is interesting to look back at how each generation changes the shape of society. We look at how we were raised, taught, treated. We decide what we want to keep and pass along to our children. I do think we are more aware of our choices. That’s great! But it also comes with the responsibility of dealing with the consequences of those choices. As a parent, I can choose to be my kid’s buddy or my kid’s mom. I am their mom. I say things like, “You know I have to enforce consequences now? It’s my job as a mom to punish you.” Or at other times I provide them with the right frame work that will help them shape their lives and their choices. Being a parent has responsibilities. That hasn’t changed. What is different may be my relationship with my children. My kids know there are no second chances and I am not embarrassed about telling them their behaviour is inappropriate even if we are in public. There is room for discussion on any subject and I will give them an honest answer (even if it means I will opt for the “medical” explanation). My round about point is, I try to see the other’s perspective. There are so many times it has helped me be a better employee, team mate, musician, mother, partner… fill in your own blanks.

 

What the heck has all that got to do with a decorated tree? I’ve got three people happy that it is still up and that it lights up our dark winter nights. When I crawl inside their skin, I’m happy too.

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

Going for a spin? 

“To be alive is to be dizzy and not to know exactly where to go.” Ander Monson

 

Well I must be really really alive because I have been so dizzy that I can barely walk.

 

I have this weird condition that hits me every couple of years. Ten years ago, I woke up one morning, sat on the edge of my bed and was so dizzy I fell back and couldn’t get up for at least an hour. The dizziness made it hard to stand, or walk, and I certainly would not be able to operate a vehicle in such a state. A visit to a specialist confirmed what my research had uncovered. Inside the labyrinth of our inner ear there are sensors that float around in the liquid and send messages to our brain. It regulates balance and the brain confirms those messages with reports it gets from our eyes. In my ears, the sensors clump together and send skewed reports to the brain. The disparity with the messages sent from my eyes cause the vertigo to set in. Since it is a mechanical issue, there is no treatment or cure. The specialist could not offer any explanation as to why it happens or what the causes could be. So I spend the two or three days it lasts completely unable to do anything and virtually exhausted by the dizziness.

 

So now I am at the end of day three. Having had a lot of time to just sit immobile wondering what could possibly be at the root of my issue, I still have no physical or spiritual answers. I hope I can work tomorrow as I have missed enough hours already due to my kid’s life changing accident. I am living in a whirlwind. My life has changed dramatically in all kinds of ways. Maybe I need to adapt to this new pace, this new direction…

 

I can walk now. I still get dizzy. I am glad to be alive so I will find a way to march on.

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

I can do that. 

“One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider a problem, can change our whole outlook on the world.” – E. H. Mayoli

Sometimes all I need is for someone to listen to me.

 

It is a normal reflex in all of us to want to give advice or find a solution or to react to a part of what someone is saying to us. But it is soooo true that what all of us need is to be heard. I need that too. Even, I think that the ability to express verbally, not vent, but express what is troubling me, allows me to see clearer. I don’t want a solution. I want to free myself from what is troubling me if only for a while.

 

So next time someone is pouring their heart out, just listen to them. Listen all the way. We all need to be heard. Sometimes that is the only solution we need.

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

step one: listen up 

“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.”Sura Hart, Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation

 

I don’t know exactly where I would classify this one because it fits in sooooooo many places. I think it has to be the most under valued quality in a person and the most important gift we can offer another.

 

Generations ago, people sat around a table or a living room and conversed. That means one person talked and the rest listened. then one person replied and the rest listened. There was a culture where we did not interrupt or speak over someone loudly. When we listened, we really listened. I have a parenting book in my library called “The Discipline Book” and very compelling is the subtitle: “How to talk so children will listen and listen so children will talk.” Even if you never open the book what is on the front cover gives you tools to help you succeed in most of your relationships. How we say what we say and how we listen to others will determine, for the most part, what we can expect from our relationships. I have someone in my entourage that is always saying, “You never listen!” to everyone. The real irony is how little this person listens to others and even to himself that he does not notice how inconsistent he can be in a single sentence.

 

Let’s allow ourselves to learn from that guy. This week’s task: listen to yourself speak. Notice what you say, the words you choose and how you feel while you are speaking. No need to change anything. Just listen and notice. You can comment and share your findings is you wish. 

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

Do it once, then a 1000 times 

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”
-
Aristotle

This year, I have decided that I a few subjects would be recurring in the course of my week: our ability to create, be it our lives or our art; empathy, a much misunderstood concept and consciousness.

 

Increasing our awareness of all these things comes with visiting them on a  regular basis. So if you are with me, I will try to publish something 3 times a week. I invite you to comment. It allows my writing to become more than a conversation with myself. After all the point is that authentic human connection I am always pursuing.

 

So tune in regularly and we will see what we have become when we emerge on the other side of the worm hole ( or warm whole?) :)

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

 

Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original vintage music, they are distinctive in their contemporary style.

I get it! 

“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” – John Steinbeck

 

As a singer, I studied music but in addition, I studied lyrics. I dove into the stories and words and characters in each song. If the words didn’t resonate with me, then I wouldn’t sing the song. I had to get it under my skin, or had to get under it’s skin, or I couldn’t bring it to life.

 

I believe that we have an obligation to feel the music we are playing. In jazz we have this incredible legacy of great, timeless songs, just out there for us to borrow, learn from and earn a living with even. We have a responsibility too, towards all the writers that poured their heart and soul into each piece. We owe it to them to study them, to get to know a little about them, to try to understand who they were and what they were feeling. What was going on in the world when the piece was written. It is part of the art of interpretation, with or without words. It is easy to spot instrumentalists who do this too. When you stand in front of an audience, it is what you feel that reaches them. Only what comes from the heart can reach the heart. The rest is superficial and illusive. When we feel and sing or play what we feel, we allow the audience to go there too. In this way, even something painful can become something beautiful. To feel that heartbreak allows us to release it from our broken heart’s grip, if but for a moment. That is how healing happens. It happens through an authentic human connection.

 

There is an art to life that I have discovered in my life as an artist. I have found a truth that allowed me to transfer this connection with people. The more I listen to others, the more I understand them and the more I understand myself.

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

A little crisis, a little adrenaline and a little faith. 

Sometimes you need a little crisis to get your adrenaline flowing and help you realize your potential.” Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle

Let me tell you, my adrenaline is flowing all right. Now, let the potential be realized!

 

I have been pondering in my “spare” time. (The word “spare” is in quotation marks because it is a farce to even think there is a parent on the planet who has more time than tasks but that is for another blog…) I have noticed that my life is a series of waves and patterns. Happy joyful moments followed by challenges followed by calm followed by something new. I have challenges. They are multiple and have presented themselves in many shapes and sizes. I can’t always see what my purpose is and I don’t always understand the evolutionary opportunity that is the treasure within but I believe there is a reason. I have observed that although I have had more challenges and failures than other people I know, I remain far more hopeful and open to good things happening. I have a secret weapon. It is faith. Yup good old garden variety Faith. It is the one thing my not always successful music career has given me. The strength to keep going even when I can’t see how it will happen. We do have to believe, I am talking really believing here not wishing, in order for anything to come. The energy we put into our dreams is not at all the same if we just wish rather than believe. Wishing has a element of doubt. Belief does not. That is what i leaned from my previous crises. 

 

We have a book at my day job: The book of answers. The idea is you randomly open it and will find an answer or a phrase of enlightenment. I have opened it to “There are obstacles to overcome” repeatedly. Good thing I know I have the potential to overcome whatever comes my way. I have had a lot of practice.

 

Namaste!

Bianca

 

This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!

Btn donate lg

Find out more

You can write to us too! Follow this link to our contact page to give us your feedback. We love hearing from you.
Copyright © Bianca Basso Inc. All rights reserved. Tous droits réservés.