15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
15 . Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.
“Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds.” - Laura Ingalls Wilder, author (1867-1957)”
I know that nothing I do can make anyone around me happy if they choose to be unhappy. Years of gigging in a Hotel piano bar taught me that just because someone didn’t like what I was doing didn’t mean I wasn’t any good. Really. Some guy in the corner wants Waylon Jennings and we are just voice and piano, singing standards, I can’t deliver on that one to make him happy no matter how much I want to. A man I know says that everyone we find around us is our mirror. I have known him for almost 10 years and I can say he is right. So when I think of what is written in this last thing to give up it I can’t agree more.
When someone is speaking they are talking about themselves. Someone who is unhappy will pick away at people, things and situations. A person who is criticizing someone often has those same traits. I can recall a woman going on and on about how person X was pathetic when in fact there was nothing pathetic at all about X. We see and notice what resonates with us. If we understand that this form of transference is quite common, then we can understand that other’s expectations may not always actually apply to us at all. Where does that leave us then? In comes Donald Miller: “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” I would add, “Starting with who you are!”
Expectations are a trap. They are based on getting what you want. The french language has two verbs that conjugate everything else: to have and to be. Those two verbs sum it up beautifully. In life we can choose to have expectations or we can just as easily choose to be happy, for and by ourselves.
Namaste!
Bianca
This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! All photos by Bianca Pittoors unless noted otherwise.
Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original music with a vintage flavor, they are distinctive in their contemporary style. Album out Fall of 2013. Become a member to get all the news.
15 . Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.
“Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds.” - Laura Ingalls Wilder, author (1867-1957)”
I know that nothing I do can make anyone around me happy if they choose to be unhappy. Years of gigging in a Hotel piano bar taught me that just because someone didn’t like what I was doing didn’t mean I wasn’t any good. Really. Some guy in the corner wants Waylon Jennings and we are just voice and piano, singing standards, I can’t deliver on that one to make him happy no matter how much I want to. A man I know says that everyone we find around us is our mirror. I have known him for almost 10 years and I can say he is right. So when I think of what is written in this last thing to give up it I can’t agree more.
When someone is speaking they are talking about themselves. Someone who is unhappy will pick away at people, things and situations. A person who is criticizing someone often has those same traits. I can recall a woman going on and on about how person X was pathetic when in fact there was nothing pathetic at all about X. We see and notice what resonates with us. If we understand that this form of transference is quite common, then we can understand that other’s expectations may not always actually apply to us at all. Where does that leave us then? In comes Donald Miller: “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” I would add, “Starting with who you are!”
Expectations are a trap. They are based on getting what you want. The french language has two verbs that conjugate everything else: to have and to be. Those two verbs sum it up beautifully. In life we can choose to have expectations or we can just as easily choose to be happy, for and by ourselves.
Namaste!
Bianca
This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! All photos by Bianca Pittoors unless noted otherwise.
Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original music with a vintage flavor, they are distinctive in their contemporary style. Album out Fall of 2013. Become a member to get all the news.