I am in an insomnia daze. I can’t sleep. My daughter makes a whisper of a sound and I am up like a flash (with my cape on I might add). I need to empty my thoughts and let go but it is harder to do than I care to admit.
The last decent night’s sleep I had was November 23rd. Since my daughter’s accident on the 24th, my life has been turned upside down. First it was the emotional trauma and since returning home from the hospital, it has been a rigorous med schedule with timers going off in the night to stay on track. Actually my days are driven around the next timer; everything happens in between. My mind is having a really hard time turning off, not to mention letting go. But I know I have to… It does come down to faith. What we believe in is put to the test every once in a while. So I’m sitting in my living room while everybody in the house is sleeping (thank God for that!) wondering when “tired” will take over and allow me to sleep. The next timer rings in 3 ½ hours. I have no choice but to clear my mind.
I guess I am going to find out what kind of strength I really have, one breath at a time. Good night. I hope…
Namaste!
Bianca
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