On top of all the challenges that have shown up in my life lately, I have an opportunity for evolution (all suffering is evolution says Buddha) that is a true test.
I have long noticed that a lot of people don’t listen at all. They listen for the “space” that allows them to speak. They are just waiting for their chance to express their thoughts and opinions. When I first noticed this, I was genuinely struck with the desire to examine this behaviour in myself. After all, everyone is our mirror, so what we see in others or bothers us in others usually exists in ourselves. Like it or not, take notice and you’ll start to see the truth in that more often than you wish to admit. So I did. I chose to really listen. Speak less. I started to notice how many people who argued about not being heard were themselves horrible listeners. Most of the time arguing at some later point in time that you never mentioned this or said that, or I’m not aware.
When you are the type of person that has a commitment to harmony, you listen and look for every solution possible. It is the solution that is important. Beyond blame, beyond the cause of whatever problem it is you are trying to solve, the solution itself is the goal. I also believe that every problem has several solutions and that if you are really committed to doing what is right for all concerned, it is possible to find a solution where everyone can be happy. This does require that the other person, or persons, involved also wish to find a solution. This can not happen when one party is more concerned about being right. There are many times when being right and doing what is right are not the same thing. When you are intent on being right chances are you are not listening at all, except for the opportunity to speak your mind yet again.
So… harmony shmarmony? Well let’s just say even a peaceful warrior is a warrior. Doing what is right might mean changing our aim in order to reach the intended target. Practice makes perfect!
Namaste!
Bianca
This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you!